My life mantra is “make waves” because I seek to live every day as the water does, ebbing and flowing, trying new things, being changed by the environment and giving back to the community around me.
In the last year, this mantra has become so important to me. I remind myself to live intentionally every day and to make waves in the lives around me, but also to allow my surroundings to make waves in my life as well. Living this way allows for growth, opportunity, spontaneity, and a lot of fun; it’s how I have found myself in so many new and exciting situations and places in the last year. I have made so many new friends, and gone to so many cool places and I hope to continue to do so…
Which brings me to this: I will be moving to Colorado!!!
I have spent the last two months in Gunnison, Colorado and have been serving as an intern at Western State Colorado University. This position has provided me so much experience as a professional. I have moved to a new location. I am working on a new campus. I am adapting to a new culture and community. I am supervising student employees. I am having a blast.
Working in this position has also provided me the opportunity to land a full-time professional position in the same department. That’s right, you heard me, I have landed my first #SAPro position as a Resident Director. I will be managing two buildings during the school year and will be coordinating housing arrangements for camps and conferences during the summer months. What a great opportunity!?
By jumping out of my comfort zone and trying new things, allowing my world to be changed by my environment, and focusing on building relationships and community in all that I do I have made waves here in this small community and it has made waves in my life in turn. I have stirred things up, brought something new, learned so much and am excited to keep doing this work.
I guess it pays to work hard and push through the seasons of life. Sometimes life comes crashing down and sometimes it’s a smooth sea, but if you don’t make a little waves in that smooth sea, nothing changes, and what is the fun in that?
I have only been in Sunny Gunni for two short months, but it has been two of the greatest months of my life. I truly believe this is a “right place at the right time” situation. I was meant to be here for my internship. I was meant to come to this campus. Western is a great fit for me and I am thrilled that my first professional position will be here in the Rocky Mountains where I will be working alongside an amazing team of professionals who will challenge and support me every day.
I’ll post updates as I know more information about my move and what this new role will be like. Stay tuned.
I’m sure everyone reading this already knows, but Netflix recently released an original series called 13 Reasons Why, based on the novel written by Jay Asher. Both the novel and the series are incredible. If you haven’t read the book or watched the series, I suggest you do both.
Before you start, just know…it’s real. raw. explicit.
This story captures the issues that every day real people face. It tells the stories of adolescents, young adults, and students from middle school to college. It shares the emotions felt by parents, families, and friends. It captures love, hate, fear, heartbreak, loneliness, grief, and so many other feelings that can’t even be described and that you didn’t know you could feel.
I read the book a long time ago. I would guess like 10 years ago when the novel was originally released. I would have been 13. I was in middle school. Maybe I was a freshman in high school. I don’t remember for sure, but I definitely read it when I was very young.
I don’t think that I truly grasped the concepts that were explored in this story back then, but that seems like a lifetime ago, so I don’t know for sure. It also seems like the world was a lot nicer back then. A lot simpler. A lot easier to navigate. I love how Netflix modernized the series to make things a little more relevant to issues faced today.
Anywho…without spoiling too much of the plot, I would like to share why everyone – especially if you’re an educator, work with students, or are a parent – should watch this show or read this novel or maybe even both, like I did.
Drug & alcohol use is everywhere: this show depicts drug and alcohol use among teens. Many of the high school students that are in this show experiment with drug and alcohol use – as do most high school students around the world…so seeing this in mainstream media is important for visibility – and partying. In addiction to shedding light on minors consuming drugs and alcohol, this show depicts broken homes and families because of drug use. I love that this show really emphasizes the fact that you don’t know what is happening in someone else’s life and what it may be like for someone behind closed doors.
Bullying and cyber-bullying happens all the time: I feel like bullying is on the rise in today’s day and age of increasing social media and technology. Bullying has always been depicted in the media for as long as I can remember – cue the cartoon character being shaken from his feet for his lunch money – and it is still an issue today. I cannot believe that the world that we live in is just now starting to engage in conversations about bullying. But this show speaks to the nature of bullying, cyber-bullying, and the way in which people’s stories get twisted as they get shared across media platforms, texted, tweeted, and snapped to the world. It’s messed up. This amazing show finally sparked some chatter about this important issue. Get out there and engage in these conversations.
It’s OK to not be OK: In the field of work that I am in, we CONSTANTLY talk about the importance of mental health, raising awareness and advocating for it to be OK to not be OK. People struggle. People go through crazy traumatic experiences. People deal with emotional issues. Depression and anxiety are real. And they are no joke. This story is about a web of young people who deal with anxiety, depression, and emotional trauma. The way in which all of this is portrayed is so authentic and genuine. But it is so important. I love the fact that this show did not shy away from these big topics and that they are making these issues visible to the world of Netflix.
It’s time to start talking about suicide: Alright y’all, we talk about mental health stigmas and the importance of raising awareness and getting help for the ones we love. But even with the increase of these conversations, the stigma surrounding suicide is still prevalent today. WHY? Of course suicide is a tough topic to talk about, but if we aren’t having these conversations, no one is, and those suffering from mental health issues and self harm/hate don’t have anyone to turn to if there is no one who is comfortable with and open to talking about this. Show some empathy, look for signs, and reach out to those you love, even if you don’t think anything may be wrong, you never know who needs a smile and a hug today. If some of the characters in this story – and more people in real life – had spread love instead of hate, lives could have been saved. I don’t know about all of you reading, but I have seen too many young and beautiful lives lost too soon. This has to stop. Spread love, people!
Because no one seems to know what consent is: You see this in the media ALL THE TIME. It is the reason that Vice President Joe Biden worked with Its On Us to create initiatives on college campuses to combat sexual assault and relationship violence. The message given to young people today is that it is awkward to ask for consent when instead the message should be that it’s sexy to ask your partner if what you’re doing is OK. The “hook up” culture that has somehow become the norm today, has taken consent completely out of the picture. And because there is so much gray area, there is an ungodly number of sexual assaults occurring. And what is worse is that no one even knows that they’re committing this horrendous act because all the lines are blurred and no one knows what’s right anymore. It’s disgusting. It’s on us to stop sexual violence! 13 Reasons Why brings light and visibility to this important and heavy issue. It may be one of the first media showings of something of this kind and it adds so so so much to this incredible story.
Love is love and should be shared: It’s 2017 and the fight for love has been long fought and unfortunately continues to be fought today. The media is bringing couples of all different variations to pages, screens, and earbuds everywhere. No longer are the days of the traditional family. In 13 Reasons Why if people were more willing to be vulnerable and express love to one another, it would have made things a lot better – same is true in real life. What is a story about high school students if there isn’t relationship drama or some sort of love twist? Nothing. But in today’s world dating and love as a high school student is complicated and confusing. This story portrays the confusion of many characters in their pursuit for love. 13 Reasons Why brings visibility to almost every possible romantic couple that you can think of, and in today’s world it is so important to be visible for others of whatever community you belong to. It’s tough to navigate this world of love, but the underlying concept is that everyone is looking for it. Who cares? Just love and never stop.
Shaming (body, slut, victim, etc.) of any sort is so not cool: Yes, everyone judges. We all have our inherent biases and prejudices that we can’t control – but we can work to overcome and grow out of them. The fact that it is so easy, so common, so accepted to shame someone based upon the way they look, the people they sleep with and the acts they engage in, or for being beaten or raped is screwed up. This story shows examples of shaming and it’s honestly repulsive. But we have to see this stuff in media to see how gross it is in real life. It has to stop. Things have to change. And this is the message told in this wonderful story.
Self-love is key: It is so important to love yourself and to be proud of who you are, no matter what anyone else thinks about you. You are valuable, you are beautiful, you are original and one of a kind. Love yourself for that. Love yourself for who you are. Continue to love yourself and never let anything or anyone take your love away. If Hannah, or any of the other characters in 13 Reasons Why had given themselves a little more love, other people would have given it to them too. People feed into confidence and self-worth, and it is crucial for young people to be surrounded by others who are both self loving and givers of love. Keep this in mind as you work with young people – and everyone else for that matter.
It takes a Community to raise a child: It seems like everyone in this story is somehow connected. Oh wait, they are. That’s because in a community, everything and everyone is effected by the actions of others. If we remember that we are always part of something so much bigger than ourselves, maybe even when the people right next to you aren’t treating you so well, you will realize that it gets better. There is a community for everyone and it takes a community to raise an individual. You simply have to find your community. So never give up, strive to find a community that you belong to and always strive to make it better.
There are two sides to every story: 13 Reasons Why does a fantastic job with this one. You hear Hannah’s view of things from her tapes. You see Clay’s view of things as he is the character that is focused on most frequently. And then of course you see the view of every other character who is in the tapes as well. Some think Hannah is lying. Some don’t know the truth. Some change things around so that they look innocent or someone else looks guiltier than they are. But the underlying issue is that there is always two sides to every story and you don’t always know both sides. Tell your version, but hear out other people’s perspectives. Everyone’s lived experience is different so their perspective is going to be slightly altered from yours. Take this into consideration whenever you encounter a conflict.
The role you play as an administrator is vital: Everyone viewing this show hates the counselor, am I right? He didn’t do his job, and he told Hannah to move on from something that she didn’t have the strength to move on from at the time. She reached out for help and he didn’t do his job. He shoved her off, made her a victim – yet again – and carried on with his busy day. I’m sorry, but if you’re in a role as an administrator of any kind you are viewed as a lifeline to many. Whether you’re a teacher, a counselor, a principal, a professor, or like me an adviser to students, your actions validate the thoughts of the young people around you. So if you don’t do your job right and you brush something off as unimportant, these young minds are going to tell themselves that you’re right and that they need to move on. But what if they can’t? Then it’s on you my friend. Listen. Listen. Listen. It is so important that you truly take the time to get to know your students and listen to what they’re going through. It’s so important that you act when someone comes to you for help. You’re an administrator for a reason. You’re a role model, a mentor, someone who has been there. So just listen. And act accordingly.
Teenage thought process & experience is accurately portrayed: Being a teenager, an adolescent, and even a young adult is so hard. It’s awkward. It’s confusing. And yet it’s so simple. The thought processes expressed in this show are the same thought processes that you and I went through when we were growing up. If you’re a younger reader, you may relate to these characters on some level now. That is OK. We’ve all been there. This is a pretty accurate portrayal of what it’s like to be a young person. Never think that you’re the only one who is feeling like Hannah, or Clay, or Justin, or Jessica, or anyone else. There is always someone else out there feeling the same way that you do. So hang in there pals!
13 Reasons Why is really great storytelling: Because I refuse to end this list on a negative note and a call to do better, I thought I would end with something positive. If you watch this series for none of the reasons that I listed above, watch simply because it is really great storytelling. It is exceptionally cheesy – as are all high school dramas. There is intrigue, a bit of a mystery, a handful of crimes, love and emotion, and many elements that make great stories. Give it a shot. It you don’t like it that’s fine. It’s pretty controversial, so I get it. It’s real and raw and doesn’t shy away from pretty intense things. If you don’t think you can watch it. OK. It’s all good. Just know that the buzz about this show is for good reason. If you work with young people chat with them about this series and get some conversations started. You never know where good storytelling like this can take you.
Side note: even though I loved this show and I thought that it did a very good job bringing up hot button items and issues, I do have to make note that I don’t agree with how glamorous Netflix made the act of suicide. This show presents suicide in a kind of intriguing way. Suicide should never be an act of revenge or spite like it was in this series. This series makes it seem like the message is “if you’re going to commit suicide, then go out with a bang and make it flashy” but that shouldn’t be the message that viewers receive. So if you’re watching this and that is the perception that you have…I feel you. I agree with you.
Sorry that this post was a little more intense than what they usually are. Thank you for sticking it out and reading the whole thing! I appreciate it. I just feel passionately about these issues because they are things that I see my students facing everyday. They’re topics that I talk about and read about for class. They’re headlines in college newspapers across the country. This show hits close to home for me and a lot of people in this world so keep that in mind next time you find yourself judging someone, using a derogatory phrase, sharing something on social media, or you’re out at a party.
Sending all of my love to everyone effected by any of the issues mentioned above. I am always here for you. You are not alone.
I’ve discovered that one of my favorite things about working for Sorority and Fraternity Life is the endless opportunities provided to support my students in pursuing their passions. Perhaps the best way that I can do this is by attending philanthropy events hosted by each chapter or auxiliary group. I am able to combine my own interests in community service/giving back and student development in one great event. Boom! Double Whammy!
Whether I am running a 5k, or filling my face at a pasta, burrito, or chili feed, I am always willing to pay a small price and to give back to something great all while seeing my students work towards something they love.
Because each national fraternity and sorority chapter is affiliated with a national philanthropy organization and USD has 12 national chapters on campus, there is an abundance of opportunity for me to support my students and support something larger than myself.
This weekend, one of our sorority chapters (Alpha Xi Delta) held a 5k run in support of their national philanthropy organization, Autism Speaks. My immediate thought was what a great event! I get to combine my passion for running with my passion for supporting my students and this amazing organization. Of course I am going to be there. This run, unfortunately, was held the day after St. Patrick’s Day-If you work on a college campus, have ever been to college, or have seen any Hollywood movie, you know that college kids celebrate every single holiday in proper alcoholic fashion-and I did not foresee it having a large attendance, which made me want to go even more.
I showed up early the morning of the event with my good friend, Lucy, paid our student fee-$15 all going to Autism Speaks. Very reasonable, even on a grad student budget-and waited for more people to show. To my surprise, at the start of the run, there were quite a few participants lined up and ready to go. I was loving this.
The race came and went…and dragged on for some (hungover) participants…but everyone was very positive about it. I mean how can you not be positive about philanthropy? Joining together to support an amazing cause-whether over a run or food or something else entirely-is magical, and we as a Greek community do it ALL THE TIME.
I have been attending chapter philanthropy events all year long, and it took this one event to make me realize the importance of fraternal organizations and their partnerships with national philanthropies. Service and brotherhood/sisterhood are just two of the values that many Greek organizations are founded on, and at every single philanthropy event hosted each academic year these values are displayed. How freaking cool is that?
It is my hope that each student sees the importance of their role in philanthropy and that they’re not just doing it because it’s another event hosted by their fraternity or sorority chapter. It may not be today, or tomorrow, but I hope that each and every chapter member is impacted by their experience with service, and that they carry it with them forever-and perhaps even more importantly, share it with others.
I am excited to finish out the year and to continue supporting each chapter and their mission to give back to the community and to their national philanthropies. I’m ending the year with high hopes for the things to come.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times. And I will continue to say it. I’m a woo. I love the challenge of meeting new people, making friends, and winning others over. For me, meeting people and making friends is thrilling. It’s an adventure. A high.
It’s always been easy for me to make friends and it’s something I am proud of. My ability to win others over and build friendships is part of who I am. You don’t typically see me without someone by my side.
I like to think that my personality attracts others and that is why I have a tendency to make many friends and why I can jump from group to group. But I have never thought about what actually goes into making friends. Until recently.
As I continue to assess my values and the things that make me tick, I realize that the things that I value are things that I see in others-especially those closest to me. The most important aspects of my life are shared with the most important people in my life. I see my values embodied in the character traits of my friends.
I am not trying to brag or to scream about the multitude of friends that I have. The intention of this post is not that at all. I just want to explore the inner workings of friendships and how friendships evolve over time as we as individuals evolve and transform as we experience the world around us.
I believe friendship is fluid. It is something that takes work and constantly changes. We have the ability to put thought and effort into friendships and to change our minds about friends at any time. I believe that the roles that our friends play in our lives are fluid as well. People enter and exit our lives at different points for a reason. The role that they played years ago may be different from the role they currently play in your life.
I have best friends, ride or dies, close friends, acquaintances and friends-of-friends, convenient friends, and even online friends.
I have childhood friends, high school classmates, college roommates, and colleagues that I consider friends. Each one serves a different purpose in my life. Each one is wildly different from the next and is valuable to me in a vastly different way.
I believe we have relationships with different people for different reasons. Friends come and go at different times of your life. And sometimes this is hard to grasp. In fact, I really struggle with this concept. As a woo, I fight so hard to build a relationship and cultivate it so that it grows, and sometimes I feel like I put far more investment into my relationships than others. That’s fine, but it can be exhausting too.
When I moved to South Dakota, I knew no one. This was exciting. It meant there was a new challenge. A time to build new relationships and make new friends. That’s exactly how I approached this move. And I have made some amazing new friends in the short time that I have lived in Vermillion.
In reverse of this, moving far away meant long-distance relationships with all of my friends from Michigan. I didn’t think anything of this at the time. I was so excited to try something new and I felt so strongly about the relationships that I had with my friends that I didn’t think that the distance would be a big deal or that maintaining our relationships would be difficult. I was wrong.
It takes a lot of work to maintain long-distance relationships. I see why long-distance romantic relationships don’t always work out. I totally get it now.
I guess these thoughts have crossed my mind because I just spent the majority of my spring break by myself and while it was refreshing, it was also lonely. Suddenly it felt like all of my friends were gone. I realized this week how convenient college is and how you become friends with people because they literally live with you and you see them every day. This is not what it is like in the real world and I am not sure that I am emotionally ready for this absence of friends. I realized how much work I put into the relationships with those around me as well as the relationships with my friends from home.
I was reminded of this post I saw a while ago. I have followed Jedidiah Jenkins on Instagram for some time now, and I am often inspired by his words. It is people like him who reiterate my love for language, words, and the power of voice. In this post he writes about friends, and this concept of “friendlies”. I saved this post as a reminder for moments like this-when I am feeling the inconveniences of long-distance relationships and maintaining friendships as an adult.
I guess what I am trying to say in this post is that if you’re reading this, you probably know me pretty well. We have a friendship, a relationship that is special. One that is far different from any friendship that I have with anyone else. Know that I value you. I love you. And even if I don’t call, text, or write you every day-or even every month-I still consider you a friend. I know that you are here to serve a purpose and bring something of value to my life-and I yours. It may be guidance, a listening ear, laughter, advice for the future, a refined sense of adventure, or a new music selection. Whatever your role in this friendship, I appreciate it. Thank you!
Huge shout out to my supervisor, Sarah, for shedding some light on adulting and maintaining friendships. I appreciate you listening and pulling me out of my spring break funk.
My favorite quote reads: “The very basic core of man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun” -Christopher McCandless
This quote comes from one of my favorite books, Into the Wild, by John Krakauer. I guess I love this quote because I feel that it speaks to my soul. It resonates deep within me. I am infatuated with the willingness and ability of McCandless to just leave it all behind, walk away, and live the life he imagined for himself. He had a mission, a purpose, and values that didn’t align with the lifestyle that he was living, so he changed his course. While this decision cost him his life, he lived with intent. He lived a life of value.
I am envious of Christopher’s freedom. I aspire to be brave enough someday to walk away from the meaninglessness of this life and to live only with passion. It’s why I am so attracted to the minimalist lifestyle. I want to find value in everything I do, each relationship I build, and all material possessions. McCandless was able to strip himself of all things that did not add value to his life. That is so amazing to me.
Since making my move to Vermillion, starting graduate school, and working in Sorority and Fraternity Life, I have discovered the importance of living a values-based lifestyle and what it means for me and the community in which I am part of.
Knowing who I am at my core, what values I stand for and believe in, and integrating this into practice daily is an important part of my minimalist lifestyle and holistic wellbeing.
I host a leadership series on campus as part of my graduate assistantship. Tonight I presented on values-based leadership and values-based living. Three of the core values that I live by are adventure, authenticity, and connection.
I value risk-taking, trying new things, and experiencing diversity. I live for genuinely cultivated relationships, and intentionality. I feel spiritually connected to the people, places, and things that I encounter. I value these connections and the mark they leave on my life.
One of the things that I love most about working for Sorority and Fraternity Life is the values-based component of this community. Each chapter has different values that they instill in their members. Each member works to practice these values daily. The global Greek community values leadership, service, and brother/sisterhood. I appreciate this lifelong devotion and commitment to values-based leadership.
When I took this position, I didn’t know anything about fraternal organizations or their values and missions. I am still no expert, but what I do know is that I am a lifelong learner and am so excited to continue digging into my core and living out my values as I work with this amazing community of young men and women.
I look forward to exploring more of what it means to live a values-based life, and to be a values-based leader. I look forward to learning more about the values of Sorority and Fraternity Life, and the students that I advise.
As you go from reading this post to whatever else you were doing, reflect on what it is that you’re passionate about, who you look up to, and why. What are your core values? Are you living them daily?
Think about it. What changes are you going to make?
If you go to the University of South Dakota, are an alumni, or know someone who has ever attended school here, you probably have heard something about the Strollers show.
It’s my first year as a graduate student at USD, and I have been hearing about Strollers since before my arrival, but I haven’t understood it until now. It is just one of those things that you have to see to totally grasp the concept of it. I am going to try my best to explain it for the sake of this post.
Strollers show in a nutshell: a performance based comedy show that is hosted by one of the oldest student organizations on campus, Strollers. The Strollers do small comedy bits in between shows, but the majority of the show is made up of acts that are presented by the sorority and fraternity chapters on campus. The 12 chapters are split into four teams consisting of two fraternity chapters and one sorority chapter each. Each team’s cast chooses a theme for the performance and works for months to build a set, choreograph a performance, write scripts, and practice their act. The competition is the biggest weekend of the year for some of our students and the energy on campus is so high. It’s wild.
OK, so now that outsiders sort of understand what Strollers is, I can share a few more thoughts with you from an outsider perspective.
Everyone is drunk or in some way intoxicated-while this is the biggest night of the year, it is also a very high risk weekend for our students. People are excited. The casts are passionate and invested in this performance because they have spent months perfecting it. Friends and family pack the auditorium. Fraternity and sorority members come in waves to support their brothers and sisters. Honestly, it’s a truly fascinating event.
Strollers is meant to be a fun and friendly competition. It is built to create community on campus between multiple student organizations and the greater student body as a whole. It is designed to build unity and to bring members of different Greek chapters together.
Ultimately it does all of those things, and as a chapter adviser, that is really really cool to see. It is amazing to see so many of my students passionate and invested in something that they’ve worked so hard to create. It is great to watch them work together on stage in front of hundreds of their peers. Honestly, I was impressed. I am impressed. I am proud of each and every one the students who put themselves out there last night, and were brave enough to perform and to work to build community on our campus. But, I am even more proud of something else that happened during the show.
While the show is supposed to create unity and bring people together, the excessive drinking and emotional states of our students isn’t the best environment for doing that-especially when we are all crammed into an auditorium. Some students get out of hand and University Police is on site, because they know how big this night is for students and how wild it can be.
I watched students get escorted out of the auditorium. I watched a girl fall down the stairs. I watched multiple people trip or stumble through the dimly lit room. And I watched a student throw punches at a few other students. I was so proud to see that the two students that this guy threw punches at were very mature about the situation. From where I was sitting, it didn’t look like they initiated any sort of dispute, or retaliation of any kind. They told the other guys friends to get him away from them and they left the area where I was sitting. They didn’t throw punches back, they didn’t scream or yell or get overly upset. They handled it maturely.
This is the behavior that we should see at an event like this. Not punches being thrown or vulgarities being screamed. This is the reputation that fraternity men should have, not the reputation of party animals, hazers, rapists, and scum. They are gentlemen. Some of the finest gentlemen that I have met are fraternity men on this campus.
I was so proud of these students for being the bigger person in this situation. They were smart, kind, and handled things correctly. This is the kind of student that I like to work with, and this is the growth, maturity, and development that I love to see in my students. I am sad that it came out of poor circumstances and at a public event like this, but I am proud of these young men, nonetheless.
I guess, I am just giving a shoutout to those two brave students for their actions. They didn’t go unseen. Continue being leaders on this campus and in this community. Continue portraying masculinity and maturity in positive ways such as this. Continue being true gentlemen.
For the past few months, I have been on the search for a summer internship in Student Affairs. My search criteria was to find an institution that offered housing for the summer, allowed me to work in a professional supervisory role, and was outside of my comfort zone in some way-Y’all know how adventurous I am and how important new experiences are to me.
I applied through a national organization called ACUHO-I and have been interviewing for a few weeks with institutions across the nation. Yesterday was Internship Offer Day and I am excited to announce that I have been offered and have accepted a position for the summer.
I will be working with Residence Life and Conference Services at Western State Colorado University and will be moving to Gunnison in May. I couldn’t be more excited to be working in my first professional role, in a Colorado mountain town, at a small, public, liberal arts university.
Let’s just say the rest of this school year is going to drag as I anxiously await my next big adventure.
I’m headed back to the mountains…and am going to be a Mountaineer!